Single Parenting and Diabetes
Last year my wife went to Canada for a few weeks to see her family and friends for a long planned reunion. Initially, I didn’t worry about my Type 1 diabetes being an issue for the period as I have been a single parent before and have coped. Days before she left my anxiety crept in as I knew that I would be the only one in charge and responsible for everything without any back up support.
The first thing I did was sit the kids down to get them on board. I told them they had to also step up and help with some of the responsibility as this was an ideal opportunity for them to learn more independence. I would be the captain, but they were also on the team and could step up and help out too. I always make sure I’m organised with school lunches, ensure sport bags are packed with the correct gear, liaise with whoever is doing school pick-ups and drop-offs, what activity they’re doing after school, what time to drop them off and pick them up after training sessions among other things. Additionally, I then have to be on top of meal prep, check homework is completed, ensure clothes/uniforms have been washed and put away, planning the next day and finally bedtime. Getting the kids to assist with their stuff was really key and I knew after this we couldn’t go back and would need to keep increasing the kids’ chores and ultimately their independence. Finally with the day done, it’s my turn – so when is DAD TIME???
Both my boys aged 10 and 14 do pick up on my anxious moments so I try hard to stay balanced and in control. Despite this, they are good at recognising the signs when I start experiencing a low blood sugar episode and always ask if I need apple juice and am feeling OK? I regularly check in with my boys to tell them how I’m feeling and discuss what low blood sugar symptoms I might have been showing.
Educating my family and friends close to me about my diabetes has been key whether I’m a single parent or my partner is around. From lows to highs and everything in between, I ensure the information is kept simple and age appropriate. I educate my boys also on food and knowing what I should and shouldn’t consume, how it relates to my blood sugar and what can happen when it changes. This is a constant work in progress, but I’m confident my sons are more educated than I realise and it’s a regular occurrence to hear them ask if I need some apple juice.
As a diabetic, I know I have to take care of my diabetic needs first no matter what the situation is. I need to be responsible for me. Anyone else that can assist is a back up and it’s good to remember that. How many times have you heard when flying ‘In case of emergency, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you. Please pull the mask down toward your face and place the mask over your mouth and nose. If you are traveling with a child, please attend to yourself first, then the child.’ This is such a perfect example of self-love and always looking after you. Don’t just talk about it, do it.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed and off track so I communicate with my boys regularly to let them know how I’m doing and if I have a low blood sugar episode, I tell them about it and we assess the signs to see if they picked it up. It’s all a learning curve and it can always be improved. As a baseline to assist overall to keep balanced and consistent, I constantly check my blood glucose levels and eat healthy and real food. To be honest, it’s easy to get complacent and I can always check my blood levels more so don’t beat yourself up and nurture yourself.
Going through every day experiences of running a home, looking after my kids and being present to where I’m at regularly makes me take a closer look at my diabetic needs and shake it up every once in a while to make sure I’m on top of my health. Often at night if I needed a reset, I’d put on a relaxing meditation to chill me out. I want to be a kickass role model to my boys as a healthy diabetic above everything else as I have a lot of life left to live and so many more adventures still to tackle.
Diabetes isn’t fun and I didn’t choose to be in this club, but nothing will stop me from making the best of it. Being a happy and healthy parent makes happy and healthy children.